To Love More Than These

John 21:15-19

Jesus asks Simon Peter three times "Do you love me?" This mirrors the three times Peter denied Jesus, but is without malice or vengeance. It is a literary purification, a forgiveness, a verbal baptism. Each time, Peter's response is "Of course I do," and Jesus replies: "Tend my sheep." Whatever love Peter genuinely has for Jesus, whatever lengths Peter is willing to go in service of Jesus, let him direct that devotion to the people.

And then, what is usually left out of the scene: Jesus gives a signal of what it means to be a disciple, what it means to tend the flock of Jesus. "When you were younger," Jesus says, "you knew your own way about. You went where you wanted to go, to did what you wanted to do, you were your own master and you were confident that you knew everything (or at least more than those around you).

"But you're not a kid anymore. You know better now. Being a disciple means being led by others, by others' needs and others' wills. Instead of going where you want to go, you will be led where you don't want to go. This is servant leadership. And, this applies to your spiritual life - you will be led to uncomfortable conclusions, led to acceptance of people you do not want to accept, challenged to do things and in places you could not have imagined yourself doing or being in. You are dedicating yourself to the Spirit, to Christ - which is why Jesus asked if you loved him more than 'these.' All 'this,' laws and money, respect and comfort, security and 'the world.'" All these are subject to one's devotion to Jesus, to the Spirit, to Christ. And devotion to Christ above all else means that we must be willing to sacrifice even our most dearly-held beliefs or possessions in the service of Christ, in the service of love, in the service of the flock of would-be followers of Jesus.

Most people see that statement of Jesus' as a reference to Peter's martyrdom. I suppose I can see that. But for the disciple, everyday is a martyrdom, a sacrifice. And if we love Jesus, we must feed his sheep. And if we want to feed his sheep, we must sacrifice ourselves and our high-born notions of ourselves to their service.