putting the meta in metamorphosis

Acts 9:1-6

Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of Jesus, heads to Damascus to flush some more messianic-Jews out. I love that the text describes Saul "breathing" these things - such a dramatic word, but also a very good image. Part of becoming a disciple is to breathe in the story, to make it what informs you and fills you, what comes in and goes out, the most common and most intimate things about you. And whatever you breathe in is who you are - disciples of Jesus breathe Jesus, Saul breathes threats and hatred. The text seems to tell us that persecution had become itself a god and identity for Saul; it was what he breathed.

Also jumping out of this text for me is that Saul is on his way, he's on the road. How often the Spirit confronts us in the midst of our doing something very important, very intent, when we think we're very busy and perhaps even doing the right thing! On the road to Damascus. On the road to Emmaus. On the road to (or away from) Nineveh.

It seems that when we're in the midst of something we think is desperately important, God blinds us with insight. God knocks us down and speaks to us. We're stunned and confused and a little affronted, and we need to be led by the hand a few steps because we're unsure of our legs.

We can say our God is a God of Love, but I think just as much God is Change, Transformation, Newness, Difference. And sometimes change doesn't come easy or painless.

Saul gets knocked on his butt with the realization that what he is doing is profoundly wrong, and has to spend some time in the dark before he is ready to see the world through new eyes. There is some truth to this period of waiting, too, the in-between time after you realize what you were but not what you will yet become. It isn't a "twilight" period, or even darkness, it is just "not-seeing." A chrysalis.